A few months ago, I found myself downtrodden feeling miserable and dejected, to be sincere with you I have not felt that way before.
My four year stay at the university had been prolonged, those I called my friends became people that no longer understood me, I felt deeply misunderstood, unloved, lonely and confused; my future seemed blurry. Money became a scarce commodity; dad could barely send me 1000 naira for weekly up keep
But then something changed,
I decided to shift my perspective and see what life would have to offer if I stopped beating myself over the unfortunate incident in my life, I accepted who I was.
At that point of my life, I made decisions that have kept me going, I tested a theory that has worked and it’s still working.
Since rejecting myself didn’t offer much, I had nothing to lose, I decided to accept my own goodness and it transformed greatly, people were no longer threatening and challenges became opportunities.
For example when I didn’t graduate when I was supposed to, instead of thinking myself as unworthy, I decided to view it as a sign I was meant to do something slightly different, right now I am happy as this later proved to be true, I am so happy I did not give up when people expected I would have.
I also moved away from victimization to acceptance. I focused on taking care of myself. Instead of beating myself up over missed deadlines or underachieved goals, I intentionally paid attention to all that I did achieve every day.
I meditated and gave myself enough sleep, quality food, and exercise. I stopped watching a lot of TV and read more. I also expressed gratitude and shared company with people who enriched my life and reinforced my goodness. I made away with friends that never had positive influence on my life, I made new friends and today I am better for it.
Since then, my life has transformed and happiness has prevailed. As a result, I have become a better partner, friend, and leader, and a more thoughtful human being.
From this point I began wondering what the world would look like if we all have the opportunity to accept all the unpleasant things happening around us and embrace goodness. Is it a possibility? I strongly believe it is possible. I have outlined some steps on how possible it is.
1. You have to believe you are Good enough for the best
You must wake up each day telling yourself that you are good, and you must be committed to it, though it can be difficult especially if you had spent you life believing you are not, you must disagree with the voice inside you, you have to start believing in you are the best because if you don’t, nobody would do it for you!
Even if your emotions don’t agree, use your intellect and then practice this exercise daily. Your emotions will catch up. Just like with building muscles, it takes time, but this exercise does work.
2. Practice what goodness means
Deciding that you are good is hard, but acting on that awareness is even harder. Commit to practice your goodness every single day. Catch yourself when you think negatively about yourself. Make a plan to get yourself out of unhealthy relationships or break bad habits. Treat yourself well, and demand that others do the same.
3. Change your number plate
You number plate is what you wake up reminding yourself of daily, soon after I made up my mind to move on, I changed my number plate, “ i am the best” I knew I would see it almost every day.
3. Stop asking question and start answering
I was used asking a “why” question, “why me”?, “why this time”? but I have come to realize that this question is harmful, it may never get you anywhere, instead ask yourself “why can’t I be this” what you have always wanted to become. You must not doubt your potentials. It is harmful.
4. Dare to Dream Big and Greatly
When we focus on our struggles, we lose sight of the truly important things in life. On the other hand, when we dream big and greatly, we have no choice but to trust our goodness as we find ways to achieve our dreams and take risks.
Now, keep in mind that taking risks and dreaming greatly does not mean we pursue things that might gain us approval of others; it means we seek out those things that matter the most to us.
Please note that in dreaming big you must dare to accomplish that you have always wanted to achieve not that the society wants from you, or the one your girl/boy friend wants from you.
6. Interact with people.
Talk to people about what it takes to move on with life irrespective of what the past must have been, by doing this you must achieved two things, you will reaffirm your position and you will also change their life too. In either case, there is something in for you. don’t you think it’s worth the try?
7. Believe in yourself
If you don’t believe in yourself, there is no how you can live fully; you will constantly question your decisions, your worthiness, and the quality of your contribution to other people’s life
Give generously, love unconditionally, laugh loudly, and communicate openly. Whatever you do, give it your all. Living in such a way will reinforce your goodness.
You are also likely to live with a lot of anxiety, which will consume you from time to time.
By actually doing more of giving, loving, laughing, communicating, and so on, you will be reinforcing your own goodness and growing your belief in it.
Once upon a time, a Native American elder was telling his grandson a story of two wolves that live in each one of us and wage a daily struggle for dominance in our lives.
One wolf is filled with love, joy, hope, peace, gratitude, optimism, generosity, understanding, humility, kindness, truth, faith, and compassion. The other is a reflection of bitterness, envy, anger, sorrow, guilt, greed, arrogance, self-pity, inferiority, lies, ego, selfishness, and judgment.
Their struggle is constant, their determination to win unwavering.
“So, which wolf wins?” asked the grandson.
The grandfather responded, “The one you feed.”
We all have a choice to accept our own goodness and nurture it every day. We can all embrace the best within us and choose happiness over sadness. Which wolf will you feed today?
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