BY Onosolase Francis
According to J. P. Sartre, “freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you”. Most times we are so occupied with the past that we become slaves and never experience the open-heartedness and enthusiasm for life that come with making peace with the past. Sometimes events from the past have a mind of their own, memories keep recirculating when all we want is for them to disappear. We are way more emotionally reactive than we know is good for us, and we are limited by distrust, neediness, and a stunted view of what is possible for us.
When we experience all this, all we need is to leg go, understanding that the past isn’t really about the past. When you look with great clarity, you would see that there is no actual thing called the past and that everything that happens, happens in the present. Anger or hurt about the past is happening now. Your present moment experience in the now is what keeps the past alive.
What is amazing about this understanding is that it shows you that the way out of your suffering is always in the present. You can change your perceptive, focus on something different, “the now” feel your feelings as they are now. Your goal is to neutralize the story from the past, so it loses it’s power over you. It becomes transparent but without meaning and without effect.
You change your relationship to your thoughts so they don’t sit like dark clouds over you. Your goal should not be to; make yourself forget about the past(it’s so impossible), ignore your feelings(this would creat other problems such as addictions), wait for an apology or acknowledgment(this would postpone your happiness), wait for time to heal your wounds(you may need more than time), wallow endlessly in your emotions(oh, so painful), re-do the past(you can’t change your reactions to what happened)
Keep holding as possible; freedom, peace, sanity, freshness in “the now” fully alive in the present. If you want to heal from the past, your attention must be focused on your present moment experience…. The end.
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